Regrettably, I’ve been absent from writing here these last few months. Summer came, school let out, we moved out of our house and into a rental….Bill went to school for 6 weeks, came back and immediately began work. Then somewhere along the way I discovered a likely lifelong issue with my lower back. It’s been a whirlwind. I’m so thankful for God’s provision through all of this. Although things seemed questionable along many points on the road, He lined things up just as He always does.
The thing is….as the sinner I still am, I doubt. I fall back into thinking I’m the one in control. That through consternation and worry, I can actually change something. Ha. After 41 years on the earth, and most of that spent as a believer, you’d think I’d have a grasp on the topic. But I still turn to my own thoughts, I still think I can intellect my way through the roughest roads in life. Instead of surrendering, instead of trusting…..instead of hitting my knees or reading scripture I sit and stew. Overthink. Replay events. None of which has the slightest chance of impacting anything that’s next.
But here’s whats beautiful. He knows this and yet He still loves us fiercely. Despite every flaw, every falter, the numerous times we flee and try to hide our faces. He loves. All He wants is for us to chase after Him as intensely as we try and flee. Most of the time that isn’t an easy thing to do, and there are stories in Scripture just to that point, such as the most famous ones in the book of Job. But in those same stores you see the peace, the love, the outpouring of love God still has for His children in those same moments.
For one second I don’t believe that change is done with me yet, that those cool winds that blow in with Fall won’t bring more decisions to make or points to ponder. But with every round I relinquish a little more of my own need to fix things on my own, to turn over the these things to the One who’s never letting go. As I look back through every obstacle I’ve faced along this path, He’s never left, always taken care of me.
Thanks for letting mr share what’s on my heart today. -m
This past weekend I participated in Tyler’s FRESH 15K race, which has become a fast favorite of mine. It is hands down, the best local race I have ever been a part of, even in its inaugural year back in 2014. I wasn’t able to run it last year but decided back in the fall that I was going to get back into running some races and this would be my first one.
In years past, we have attended church regularly during Advent but never celebrated or carried the Advent candle tradition on at home. This year my home church, Grace Community Church, held a women’s event last month called “Prepare the Way” during which we worshipped, listened to encouragement about centering our hearts on Jesus during this time, made an Advent centerpiece to use at home, and received a copy of “The Greatest Gift” by Ann Voskamp. I believe this was His “gentle” nudge that this was the year to start some new traditions.
e struggled with the same principle of diving in, taking too much on, doing it all.
runningmere fitness 